Gratitude , Hope

I watched Farrah’s Story on NBC on Friday night. I’m sure it was very personal for her to share her story with the world. She symbolizes Hope amidst despair. Hope for bad days that will come, and hope that good days are ahead. As I watched her battle and subsequent reaction to achievements or setbacks, I knew that whatever was happening in my immediate environs would work itself out.

I survived my weekend and have lots to give thanks for. I’m grateful that I am the caregiver and it also made me realised that my inconveniences are like grains of sand compared to some people’s mountains.

Over the weekend, we spent 6 hours trying to save a man’s life: someone’s husband, dad, uncle, brother, cousin, son, grandpa. He fell 30 feet and is still in critical condition. Meanwhile his coworker 27 yrs old was airlifted out and will learn that he is paralyzed when he is conscious. How he reacts to this news will certainly influence the “quality” of the rest of his life. After the initial shock, will he choose to remain a victim, or thankful that he is alive and work within his limitations?. Last year I had the opportunity to hear a young lady, who was also a quad amputee speak at a conference, and I will always be reminded of her inspiring message. Quit complaining, accept reality, refuse pity parties and just accept that there will always be different situations in each of our lives, and its not because of things we did or didn’t do. Its called life!!!

On Sunday, we had a young couple on vacation and the husband is now a patient in the Critical Care unit. Now that sucks big time, but I also learnt a valuable lesson from his condition. His lack of attention to a seemingly miniscule mishap escalated to a major event with systemic involvement, which has a 65% chance of death, even with surgical intervention. How often in our lives “little” things happen, and rather than dealing with it right away, we allow it to mature and reach potentially poisonous status, effectively requiring more aggressive attention leading to possible “disability or death ” of that aspect of our lives. Just something to think about.

On another note, today we celebrated Discovery Day, so I was off on holiday, and I truly enjoyed my day. I did nothing, nada, zilch…. I should have done laundry, tidied my apt, put gas in my car, but instead I slept late, made lunch, slept some more, took a shower and now I’m watching Reba. She makes me laugh, even if I have seen the episodes before. I’m grateful for life, even with its ups and downs and I’m definitely looking forward to an awesome week.

My Week, My World

This week grabbed my attention and emotions. I could not help but think about the movie “the gods must be crazy” not sure why, but I just had the feeling that I was on a journey to make wrong right, while not sure of why, how and what it is I had to do.

So Monday started like any other Monday, trying to shake myself out of the weekend mode into the show-up-and- get- paid mode, so cant remember much of anything except my supervisor was off sick for three days, so added responsibility which equates to emotional stress. Not sure when she will be returning to work and the current swine flu epidemic is not helping either. She sounded like a subdued alien when I spoke with her on the phone.

On Tuesday I had a busy day at work and on my way home to lunch, had to call my sister to ask about something, when she began to talk in whispers. I was hungry, so the last thing I wanted to hear was her whispers. Turns out that she had not gone to work , but was at the hospital with my other sister to visit my younger brother who had been brutally attacked, beaten and chopped by members of his community!!! Thankfully he did not require surgery, but hey just the thought of knowing he could have died, sent shivers through my body and fear/anxiety replaced my hunger.

Wednesday I truly earned every cent of my salary that I will receive this month end. I went to work early and was still there hours after my shift was supposed to end. It was chaotic to say the least. My brother is doing better and then I heard that I had 3 other cousins who were in the hospital, and an uncle who was recently sent home. I was tired , so had to reschedule my end of semester final exam. I just wanted to sleep, turn off my phones, my computer and sleep. I just wanted to get away from all the sensory inputs, and go in my world where everything is perfect, no assaults, no exams, no work, no bills. I wanted to find that place and stay there.

Thursday is connected to Friday, so there’s reason for celebration, except that I will be on call for the next 72 hours! My body ached all day, I felt like a grandma and probably looked like one as well. I just finished my final exams for the semester and I’m thinking of my reward, exclusive of a passing grade. On days like this I dream of long vacations, where I go sailing the high seas on exotic cruises for months at a time. I may not be able to afford it, but these delusions keep me sane in my world.

So tonight I heard that my brother was released and my uncle was re- admitted in the same hospital and on the same ward!!!! I was afraid to ask if it was the same bed. I don’t know what’s happening, but I cant embrace it, so I’m gonna sleep. Maybe when I wake up in the morning, it will be a dream. So until then, I’m gonna get horizontal and go in my own world.

P.S Friday : Woke up a little after midnight to extreme heat and humidity, my first reaction was the a/c is broken, but was faced with the harsh reality that I had inadvertently turned on the heat instead! What a way to start my weekend!

Virgin Blogger

Are you one of those persons with list of "100 things to do before..." a specific time frame? I'm not guilty of making such weird plans, but in the back of my mind I know that there are certain things I would like to get done.It also means that I could get up one morning and do one of those things, because let's face it: who knows what the future holds for us, so while we wait on the future, let's live life with what we have - i.e today!!!

I've been encouraged to start a blog, and must admit that I've thought about it several times, but I didn't because it just wasn't the right time. We all have a built in mechanism to let us know when something is right, so at 1100pm on a weekday, when I have to be at work in 8 hours, I'm being initiated in the Blogger's world. Not because something happened, but just for da heck of it and because its my choice... I hate rituals, traditions and set expectations!!! I want to be me, I want to do things just because I want to!! so tonight I'm a blogger, just because I want to.

I'm looking forward to sharing learning, disagreeing and enjoying the blog world.